I was trying really hard to be excited…
about the arrival of the cooler weather in the mountains this year. But, truth be told, I was seriously struggling to find my usual enthusiasm for the arrival of “crisp” mornings followed by clear sunny days.
Usually, Autumn is my favorite. I love the rituals and celebrations. I love the smell, the power of transition and letting go, the harvest, the changing leaves, the sheer groundedness of the season.
So… why the resistance this year?
After spending some days reflecting (huddled in heavy sweaters and knee high boots), I realized what I was feeling was fear. My fear of the coming cold of winter was coloring my present experience. My fear was preventing me from reveling in the ebb and flow of the natural cyclical change and my fear was blocking me from soaking in the beauty of the bluest of blue skies. Instead of greeting my cold weather wardrobe with the delighted enthusiasm of “Ooo…. I haven’t worn that in forever!” I felt surly, anxious and COLD.
A major part of my self Reiki practice is saying the five Reiki principles* everyday. I do my best to pair these mantras with self Reiki treatments. This process helps bring my awareness to where these particular blocked energies may be in my body. (And trust me, there are ever new layers everyday!) During my above mentioned reflections, two of the principles kept coming back to me over and over.
Reiki heal me and guide me so I may be free of worry and fear.
Reiki heal me and guide me so my heart may be open with wonder and gratitude.
What came to me is that words “free” and “open” are the antithesis of “resistance”. Instead of surrendering, allowing and receiving, which creates the emotional states of trust and curiosity and appreciation- I had done the opposite.
So, I returned to the first part of the principles, placed my hands on my body, and asked for guidance and healing from the Reiki energy. And…In the true Spirit of Reiki, my awareness gently shifted- I released. I let go. I breathed in and allowed myself to feel my fear and honor it for the greater self awareness it brought to me. I gathered my humor and had a chuckle at myself for being afraid of an Asheville winter. (I mean, really, we get- like, what 12 inches of snow a year!)
So, I chose to bake a lasagna, count pumpkins with my daughter, let my feet drag while walking, just to listen to the rustle of leaves, and deeply breathe in the cool dry air.
Autumn is incredibly Reiki-like in its nature. It is a season of gentle transition. Being present with Autumn can be a solid exercise of trust and allowing things to be as they are. Autumn is a season of harvest and bounty- of celebration and gratitude. Of freedom, wonder and letting go…